‘pick me.choose me.love me.’
i had prayed so hard to god for so long… ‘give me somebody to love and give me somebody to love me…’ done with random hook-ups, done with momentary bliss, done with meanwhile distractions, done playing around… i’ve seen it all and i’ve done it all… i wanted to change.i wanted something different. i wanted you.
you. who changed me.
my mind told me to slow down and think things through but my heart screamed for me to go ahead and take that huge blind leap of faith because maybe, just possibly, you were someone worth taking that risk for. interesting enough? yes. challenging? extremely. worthwhile? probably. me and my fucked up philosophies. and you with your unexplained issues,whatever they may be. make me understand this.
when i love, i give my all. and when i give my all, i mean every single damn thing. i loved you but i began to love myself a little less. i gave too much and left nothing for me. you made it easy to love you. but i guess its hard to love me. or maybe i just wasn’t enough.
in giving up random moments of pleasure and happiness, that’s exactly what i became and what i am to you… just a welcome distraction. just another person at the right place at the wrong time…
i love you is just a phrase. proving that is an entirely different story. then again, there is no story to tell… because there was never even an ‘us’ in the first place. i could’ve loved you more than i already did… you could’ve truly meant the world to me… could have… all you could’ve done was stand by me… but you didn’t.
you weren’t different after all. you’re just like all the rest.
pick me.choose me.love me…fuck me.and leave me.