Let me just get right down to it. After sitting right through ninety minutes of the movie, I just sat there in disbelief that I wasted precious minutes of my me time watching this poor excuse of an erotica film. Don’t get me wrong. I’m the kind of wife who shares porn sites with her husband who absolutely thinks his wife has the most undiscovered porn potential in the hole universe, but I digress. The point is, I have no qualms about erotica or rated R movies, as these are just deviations of artistic and poetic licenses.
I actually read through all books of Fifty Shades of Grey and actively voiced out my opinion on who should play Christian Grey (I was rooting for Alex Pettyfer to play him, by the way). And whilst conservative citizens lobbied that the franchise was romanticizing porn and BDSM, us non-traditionalists revelled in the idea of having our wildest fantasies play out on screen. Poor little small town girl gets swept off her feet by a rich handsome CEO who has psychological issues due to childhood trauma that emotionally cripples him thus sex to him is a psychological game. We get it, we get it. It is what it is: a form of entertainment. The basic foundation of the story plays around every girls basic fantasy: some rich guy falls madly in love with me, drives me in a helicopter, buys me a car, want me for my body but is fascinated with my mind and wants to marry me. You can sell these concepts to any girl any day, in any given form and one way or another, she will relate to it.
I’m not a professional film critic nor do I have the credentials of a screenwriter, but based on my humble, common consumer opinion, the power of art lies in successfully enabling your audience to relate to the message your trying to get across.
So given these precedents, let’s move on to the review of the lousiest movie I have seen during this enhanced community quarantine era. And because of most of us have been Netflixing our way out of this situation, I choose to believe that we have mutated into some sort of film connoisseurs, therefore, I declare the following statements valid and not open to discussion given the fact that I am a mother, a womens rights advocate, a film specialist (I’m running out of Netflix movies to watch honestly), but above all else, a girl who demands the highest level of respect in all ways possible.
Point 1: Unless you pull off a John Wick Mafia like storyline, then no. That don’t impress us much.
Point 2: Dear sweet Laura. You are very lost baby girl! Very lost and very wrong representation of females.
- If you’re unhappy in a relationship, baby girl, walk away.
- If somebody dictates what you wear, this is a red flag baby girl.
- If somebody kidnaps you, scream, call for help, run, do what you can. Save yourself, baby girl.
- If a stranger touches any part of your body without your consent, baby girl, say no. If someone forces you to have sex with him, baby girl, that’s called rape.
- If somebody truly loves you, he won’t tie you up and force you to watch him get naked with some other girl. He’s sick in the head, baby girl. You deserve better.
- If some guy isn’t open to letting your family know about him, leave him baby girl. Your family will always be a part of you.
- There will be a time when we become blinded by material possessions, but remember this, baby girl, you can always buy these things for yourself through honest, hard work. People will try to buy your affections, but baby girl, please know that you cannot be bought. You are priceless.
To all the baby girls out there, please know your worth. You are so much more than an object of fantasies. Manipulation and abuse can easily be masked by the fanfare brought about by money, sex or even love. There’s so much more to love than sex. True, unadulterated love takes time. You cannot force someone to love you or force yourself to love someone in a specified time frame.
At the end of the day, us parents can only pray that we brought up our baby girls and baby boys to know the fine lines between lust and love and right and wrong and that we continue to teach them the correct answers if someone asks “Are you lost, baby girl?”